Chris Nolan's Schooldays

"[he] must learn to do what he is told. It is unfortunate that he is a year older than the other boys, but in time ... will turn out to be a good Melvill boy".

This is an old report card from his English public school - 'Melvill' was the name of his house - for perhaps the world's hottest movie director, as revealed in the latest issue of The Haileyburian, a stylish publication extolling the virtues and achievements of the boys and girls.

Christopher Nolan, described in the magazine as "arguably our most famous living OH" - a contention which could justifiably be challenged by the likes of Sir Alan Ayckbourn, Dom Joly and Stephen Mangan [or even, arguably, the Editor of Movies1.tv] - was said to have been a "reserved but generally nice person" in his Haileybury days.

Sadly, there are no further insights into the young man from those heady days in the Hertfordshire countryside. Did he shoot 'prentice videos in the surrounding woods or did he organise outré film screenings for his fellow students?

What is surely incontestable is that Nolan has to be the RICHEST LIVING OH thanks to his helming of the current Batman franchise not to mention another half billion dollar grosser, Inception.